Unlike other brothers
by Miralana
Summary: He remembers echoes, he remembers feelings but he also remembers the first time he had looked at Itachi and had thought: My brother isn't like other brothers. [Companion fic to Nothing to look forward to]


If Uchiha Sasuke is honest with himself, he knows that he doesn't remember a lot about his childhood. He remembers the echo of his parent's voices, the general feeling he's always had when his father had looked at him with disappointment and the one when Itachi had smiled at him.

He remembers echoes, he remembers feelings but he also remembers the first time he had looked at Itachi and had thought: _My brother isn't like other brothers_.

His brother had been smarter and better than other brothers, but he had also been _busier_.

This feeling had followed him his whole life.

Other brothers hadn't betrayed their village.

Other Brothers hadn't killed their whole family.

Other brothers hadn't joined a freaking terrorist organisation.

Other brothers were still a lot less smart and capable than Itachi, though.

After everything was other, after he had returned to the village, after he had realised that he had his brother back, Sasuke had looked at Itachi and had thought: _Other brothers don't come back from the dead._

* * *

><p>And after a whole year, after Sasuke has turned seventeen and they have moved in together and he has somehow started to have some kind of social life, the differences become a lot more significant.<p>

He talks to people, he watches people, because somewhere deep inside him he has this burning need to be able to say, that even though Itachi isn't like other siblings, he is better than them, that he loves Sasuke more than other siblings love theirs.

* * *

><p>Logically, this is a totally stupid thought, because Sasuke knows how much Itachi cares about him, how far he is willingly to go for him. But he can't stop it. Sakura tells him once after she realised what he is doing – because of course she would – that it's not that irrational, that he lost Itachi so many times, that he just needs this validation after everything has happened to him. She also tells him, that it's probably because he doesn't actually <em>knows<em> Itachi.

So whenever he is home he watches Itachi.

He doesn't know how to go about this, how to get to know his brother.

Itachi is open, he seems to like talking to Sasuke, he doesn't mind when Sasuke forgets that they were supposed to eat around eight and has to wait for him to finish his training and he doesn't mind that Sasuke sometimes just needs his big brother to hug him after a particularly bad nightmare.

So Itachi isn't hiding something from him. He is hiding from the world. He doesn't likes going outside, he spends more time on their property, sitting outside and just staring into nothing.

At first he thinks that Itachi is dealing with the loss of his eyesight, with his broken body – although Tsunade cured his condition, she hadn't been able to heal his whole body.

_It takes Sasuke months to realise that Itachi is grieving._

He doesn't know whom or what he is grieving, but he notices the signs and he doesn't dare to ask.

He doesn't dare to ask about Itachi's life with the Akatsuki.

_Because he doesn't wants to hear that it's none of his business._

So he gets Itachi to come outside with him, to help him with the groceries – "I don't even see my feet Sasuke, how am I supposed to help you?" "You can carry them." "I only have one working arm." "So we have two arms together." – to pick him up from training – "What am I, your nanny?" "Nii-san…" "Fine." – and to come out with them – "Okay, no that's where I draw the line, I don't drink, and I've had enough of other people drinking in my presence for a lifetime." "You okay?" "I'm fine. I-I-I'm gonna go take a nap."

He knows that he isn't helping much but he also knows that this way he distracts him, and every time Itachi smiles at something that isn't him, he knows that it's worth it.

* * *

><p>Until one day, when Itachi is waiting for him after training, leaning against some small wall, his right arm loosely gripping his fucked up left one, he sees him talking to someone.<p>

There are a lot of emotions going through him. He is wary – _there are a lot of people who still hate him_ – he is overjoyed – _Itachi making a friend will definitely distract him_ – he is jealous – _Itachi making a friend means he won't have that much time for him anymore_ – so he settles for a mix of the three.

He approaches Itachi and the unknown man – _some Shinobi from Kumogakure who's visiting them for a few weeks if he isn't mistaken_ – slowly and is able to hear the rest of their conversation.

"Thank you for the offer, but I'm really really busy at the moment." Itachi says and the other man looks actually disappointed.

"You sure? I really know a great place. And I don't expect you to put out on the first date." The man grins and Itachi actually laughs, like it's funny. Sasuke doesn't think it's funny. He's actually a bit mortified.

"I am sure. Maybe some other time?"

The Shinobi sighs. "You say that every time, man, at some point I'm gonna have to force you to come with me." Then he puts a hand on Itachi's arm – and what the fuck does that mean. "See you around, I guess.

"More like see you tomorrow. It's not like you wait for me every single day."

"I make you uncomfortable, you'd tell me, would you?"

"Sure."

With that the Shinobi turns around and heads in the other direction – the academy Sasuke realises – and Sasuke finally gets close enough to Itachi.

"Who was that?" He asks and Itachi actually _flinches_, like he's some kid that's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"He gives lessons at the academy."

"Didn't know you're going back there."

Itachi gives him his 'seriously?' look – _how someone as blind as him can even look like that he doesn't know_ – and then sighs. "He approached me a two weeks ago, asking if I was lost, when I was waiting for you."

"Stand up citizen." Sasuke bites his lips. "You know that he was totally hitting on you, don't you?"

Itachi actually blushes. _What the fuck_. "Kinda obvious…"

"He's way too old for you."

Itachi doesn't says anything and Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "You don't know how old he is. You probably don't even know what he looks like."

They start walking and don't say anything else for about five minutes and Sasuke can practically feel Itachi wanting to ask, but of course he's too proud for that.

He doesn't know what to think of this. He knows that his brothers is different than other brothers, but he didn't think he'd be _this_ different. He takes a good look at Itachi and tries to find out if there were some signs he missed. The long hair maybe, but he's fully aware that a lot of Shinobi have long hair.

Or maybe he's thinking too much about this and Itachi isn't actually attracted to the guy. Maybe Itachi is just fucking with him. He gets like that sometimes.

"Okay so… how old do you think he is?"

Or maybe not.

"Probably around mid to late thirties." Which makes him at least 12 years older than Itachi's twenty three.

"Hm." Itachi makes. "That's not that much. I thought you meant he was like fifty."

"Please don't tell me that you draw the line at fifty."

Itachi just smiles. What even is his life?

* * *

><p>Burdened with these new information, Sasuke actually becomes a bit sloppy in his training and gets knocked on his ass in about two minutes by no one else than Naruto a few days later.<p>

It's unnecessary to say that everyone is surprised by that. Naruto probably the most.

No one talks for about five seconds until Sakura starts laughing and Naruto joins her and Sasuke just falls back on his back and throws his forearm over his eyes. It's dramatic enough that it makes him feel a bit better.

It's also dramatic enough for the still laughing Sakura and Naruto to come closer.

"You okay?" Naruto asks and they both sit down next to him. Sasuke has the burning need to curl himself around Sakura's legs which is definitely not cool.

"You can talk to us about anything." Sakura says and Sasuke just groans.

"I think my brother might be gay."

Naruto blinks.

Sakura raises her eyebrow.

"He's what?"

"Did you only get that just now?"

"What?!" Sasuke gets his upper body a bit up, supporting himself on his elbows and looks at Sakura like she just grew a second head.

"He's been talking to that guy every day. And you know, maybe he's not the one starting the conversation but he's certainly not stopping it."

"How did you notice that, I didn't notice that." Naruto says and Sasuke nods, because yes, how the hell did she see when they didn't.

"It's just the way they talk. Your brother is smiling, tilting his head and they stand really close to each other. And that other guy… he's just totally coming onto him, touching him whenever he can, always swaying closer. And I only see what they do, when I'm having a break, what knows what they are doing when no one's looking."

Naruto makes a grimace. Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"Itachi turned a date down a few days ago, said he was busy or some other excuse."

They all think in silence about this and Sasuke realises that he doesn't understand why Itachi didn't say yes. If Sakura's observation is true – and it most likely is – than it doesn't make any sense.

"Do you mind?" She asks and Sasuke turns his head around to her.

"Hm?"

"That he might be into guys?"

He thinks about it for a moment, but then he shrugs. His brother had always been different than other brothers.

"Nah, I don't mind."

* * *

><p>"You know that I wouldn't mind if you dated him." Sasuke says a week later, after he has gathered all the courage he needed to approach Itachi about this is any other way than as a joke. The fear of being shut down, of being left out of his brother's life is still there but he would be able to do this.<p>

They're inside their house and Sasuke is waiting for the rice to finish. He is leaning against the doorframe, while Itachi stands next to their drying rack in the living room.

It's dark there, because Itachi always forgets to turn on the light but the light from the kitchen is enough for Sasuke to see, that Itachi is folding their clothing with precise movements – and Sasuke would feel bad about Itachi having to do their laundry if he wouldn't have been the one who cooks and cleans because it's better to have functioning eyes for that.

Unfortunately the kitchen light isn't enough to see the expression on his face. Maybe Sasuke could turn on the light without Itachi noticing. Probably not, but he could at least try.

"As much as I appreciate you giving your blessing, Sasuke, if I wanted to date him, I would."

"Just… wanted you to know that it's okay for me."

Itachi turns his head around to him and Sasuke can see him smiling at him smiling at him. When Itachi raises two fingers to his own forehead and pokes it Sasuke smiles too, because that their new sign whenever they're too far away from each other and he knows that everything is okay between them.

"So why won't you date him?" He asks after Dinner is done and they relocated themselves to the living room couch. They had been sitting in silence for a few moments and Itachi sighs. He tilts his head back and Sasuke expects him to fall back and do something dramatic – _that's actually something they're both good at who would have expected it_ – but he just shakes his head.

"He's leaving tomorrow."

"And… it's not that I don't like talking to him, I'm just not looking right now. I- There's just too much other stuff going around."

"Oh."

Itachi shrugs. Then he starts to get up. "I'm gonna go to bed. Don't stay up to long."

"Yes, mum."

Itachi just kicks him lightly in the shin and starts walking away.

"Nii-san?"

He gets up too and takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. About … about whoever died and I'm here if you want to talk about it."

The pain that flashes over Itachis face for a second is nearly enough to make Sasuke go over there and hug him but then Itachi smiles that sad smile of his.

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>Itachi's mood doesn't change when the Shinobi from Kumo leaves but something's changed between them. It's not like Itachi has closed down or opened up, it's just… Sasuke feels like they're more on the same page now, because he knows this about his brother.<p>

It's funny that it's so weird for him to find stuff out about Itachi, because he hadn't known anything until a year ago when he still thought that Itachi spent his days kicking puppies. Now, every little thing feels like a gift, even if it's that he doesn't eat meet, or that he prefers to wear his hair open or tied into a knot in the house or if it's the fact that Itachi tells him one day, that he never really dated that he just fell into a relationship and at that point his voice breaks and Sasuke knows for sure that Itachi lost this person.

He wants to know who it was, wants to know what his brother saw in that person – even though he doesn't thinks about setting Itachi up, he barely has his own social life under control and he doesn't even has a relationship.

But Itachi isn't like other brothers, he's silent and sad and Sasuke sees that he tries for him, but somehow he thinks he might be getting worse.

Sasuke follows his regression slowly, accepts the excuses when Itachi doesn't want to come outside with him and he talks to Naruto and Sakura about this again, but both of them have no idea how to help without pushing too much, so Sasuke watches closely and hopes for the best.

It's a few months later, when he's summoned to the Hokage – never a good sign.

Kakashi sits behind his desk, clear worry on his face and an open scroll before him.

What he tells him frightens him. Itachi's old Akatsuki partner has entered the village about three hours ago and according to the letter from the Mizukage he should have reported immediately. But he didn't. And they all know what that might mean.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He barks at Kakashi and he sees a vain tick on his forehead.

"It wasn't your concern."

"It wasn't… My brother betrayed them, what do you think is that guy gonna do with him?"

He doesn't wait for another stupid excuse but leaves and takes the fastest route to their house.

Itachi is nowhere to be seen, a teacup on the kitchen corner, the book he had been reading left on the porch but besides that it seems like there's no one in the house, so he tones down a bit on his wariness. That guy probably didn't find the house. Yet.

He enters Itachi's room unannounced and he doesn't really remembers what exactly he says – or yells – after wards because… well. Sasuke considers himself to be a pretty open minded person, but at some point he has to draw a line. And there it is.

He closes the door behind himself and makes his way to the living room where he sits down. He feels kind of numb and he can't stop thinking about Itachi and hey, his Akatsuki Partner _in bed_. Without clothes.

He's never going to be able to get rid of that picture.

He thinks he might be getting blind.

And then Itachi sits down in front of him. With pants and a shirt that looks like it might have been ripped off him before he put it on again. Hair tied up, lips swollen, neck a total catastrophe.

If Sasuke is ever going to look up the definition of "fucked out" he's gonna find this picture, he's sure.

"I'm sorry." Itachi says and behind them someone chuckles.

"Kisame, please don't make it worse than it already is." Itachi snaps and Hoshigaki actually shuts his mouth, _what the hell_.

"It's okay, I thought you might be getting murdered by him, so I well. I probably should have knocked."

"Yeah, maybe do that in the future." Hoshigaki says and Sasuke turns around. Hoshigaki is even taller than he remembers – and how is that possible the last time they meet Sasuke had been the short one and now he is taller than Itachi, so he is closer to Hoshigaki's height than before – and probably bulkier he can't really say because he's wearing pants and a shirt and not that stupid coat.

"What do you mean future? Are… you're not staying, are you?" He asks and Kisame looks at Itachi, who of course hasn't seen their exchange.

"Well I'd like to." He says and now Sasuke looks at Itachi too.

"I'd like you to stay, too."

And now they're smiling at each other – as much as someone with Hoshigaki's facial structure can smile and what does Itachi even find attractive in that guy.

"Well I guess the Hokage and Mizukage have something to say about that."

And now they're both giving him that look that tells him, he's being stupid. Of course, they had already been Nuke-nins – and even though Sasuke knows that Itachi won't leave him, he thinks they might threaten to do that.

_What even if his life._

* * *

><p>It should say something about his damn luck that Hoshigaki actually manages to get a permanent position in Konohagkure.<p>

Sasuke thinks he could hate him, because he's just an asshole and he's rude – "You're one of the rudest people I know, Sasuke" "But it's not the same!" – if he didn't make Itachi so damn happy.

He complains about this at some point to Sakura – and Naruto is on a date with Hinata, so he's giving up all pretence of being cool and just curls himself around her legs, while she pets his head and tells him "there, there, everything's gonna be fine" – but he can't even argue with the outcome because Itachi just seems so happy and now that he isn't grieving his not dead partner anymore he's even opener Sasuke, he's like Sasuke always hoped their relationship might be –being asses to each other but being able to talk about anything – and if he has to endure the one or two or three make out sessions in the kitchen, then what the hell.

_His brother is after all, not like other brothers._

* * *

><p>[AN] Itachi'sarm is fucked up because I'm going with the theory of MPA being his mysterious sickness.

Feel free to come and talk to me on tumblr. I'm at stillcryingbecauseofitachi


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